Hi! Okay, here I am!

Someone asked me this week how my “sugar thing” was going and I told them- “Good, bad, I would give myself a solid D+. Ha!

The truth is that I’m trying! I definitely making a lot of consistently better choices- whole grains, veggies, etc.

But I haven’t been perfect. I was gone for a family funeral for a week and I just sorta “paused,” and then when I got back I tried to pick it up again and it’s honestly, a lot of work and not a lot of fun! It’s hard to figure out what to eat! It’s hard to say no to a box of donuts that someone brings home. It’s hard. And I haven’t been that good at it.

But after I told my friend my “grade,” I went to the Lord to ask him- would he give me the same grade?

He told me he grades in pass/fail. He doesn’t give a score. It’s either- I’m coming after him or I’m not.

And honestly, I am. In fits and starts, like a little kid trying to walk but falling down, I’m coming. And you know what? I was feeling a bit ashamed about my “fits and starts” but the Lord is not a God of shame! He rejoices over my efforts and sees where I am, and how I long to walk in a way that pleases Him, and he encourages me- the way a Dad would encourage their baby to get up and walk again.

You guys, I have no idea why God is so good to me. Honestly, my whole life has been this pattern of- I fail, I feel ashamed, after a period of time I come back to the Lord- and He’s merciful and kind to me! And yet every single time I fail, I forget that for awhile and have this idea that… uh-oh. This is the time. This time God is going to really give it to me.

But he never does! He’s always gentle, reminding me that He doesn’t condemn me, dusting me off and cleaning me up and loving me- calling me ridiculously kind things like his child, beloved, and righteous. What!

With joy and gladness, he sets me back on my feet and says: “You can do this.”

Isn’t He the best?

Hi, guys! Hey!

So, it’s been a whole week! And I have done really well!

Truthfully, it was soooo nice having posted that, because so many people commented and messaged me for the first few days, it really kept me motivated! So if that was you, THANK YOU!

I did hit a mini crash about 3 days in- just felt irritable and hangry. But I managed to not kill anyone and we all survived.

Then about 5 days in, I was kinda bored of it- I mean, it’s no fun figuring out a different meal for yourself when the rest of the house is having spaghetti! But I didn’t go off plan!

Then on day 6, Giselle made fresh bread, and… ugh, it looked so good. I had been doing so well, and there weren’t many options in our house, and I… walked by it several hundred times. Then I cut a slice. And buttered it. And then I put some of our fancy honey on it.

And I looked at that warm, golden, glistening bit of yummy, and just…

Ugh. Knew. I KNEW it was a complete sin.

I mean okay! I’m not one that wants to heap rules on things! I have no intention of becoming Amish or orthodox!!! And I am NOT saying that piece of bread was inherently sinful and no one should eat carbs of gluten.

But you know that Romans chapter 14 talks about how we shouldn’t condemn other people for their faith choices- but we should each obey what the Spirit is prompting us. Well, I knew that the Lord had told me no, and I was just… disobeying. Because it looked so good. And the Lord is so merciful, right?

Well, I couldn’t do it. The Spirit was so present to me at that moment- I couldn’t. I walked over and handed it to Eric, and he vacuumed it up for me pretty quickly.

Maybe that’s the key. Maybe obedience is less about remembering and muscling through- than about having such an intimate relationship with God that you never feel like he’s far off. He’s right before you, and you love to please Him, and hate to grieve him.

I’m so thankful to have a whole week under my belt!! I’m so excited about what the Lord is going to do in the future! And already the Lord used last week’s blog post to connect me to several people in ways I didn’t expect! He truly does take what the enemy meant for evil, and uses it for my good!

This week, I have a prayer meeting at my house. If you have a prayer need, if you have something in your life that feels like a stronghold you want victory for, message me and I’ll be praying! I truly believe the message of the gospel is that we are meant to be free! Members of a kingdom where we are no longer slaves to sin! I want to walk in that, and I want that for everyone else, too!

Okay!

Bye!

Brianna

Hi! Hey, okay. So. This is hard to post, but here goes!
Everyone who has ever met me in person knows that I’ve wrestled my whole life with overeating! I’ve tried lots of different things and failed at them all.

It’s embarrassing, no one wants to be overweight. Also- I’m a Christian, if you know me you probably also know that I talk big talk about how God is good, and real, and how in Him, there’s hope for everything!
Well, it has been consistently embarrassing that I’ve not been able to find a key or a… solution to this. It feels like, Okay, how can I encourage people that the Lord is their help for their BIG things, when my big thing obviously just goes unchanged? It’s not like I hadn’t gone to the Lord about it! But the years just went by, and nothing was different. Okay- about five or six years ago, when praying, the Lord asked me to give up two things: White flour and white sugar. I knew it was his leading. I resisted, or- tried, a little, for a few hours. But I just couldn’t do it! But over and over- whenever I would see a new diet plan or a new idea that might work for me- I would have this inner prick from the Holy Spirit- that I shouldn’t waste my time on any of those “new plans.” I should just obey what the Lord told me. You have no idea how many times I tried! I knew it was what I should do, but I just couldn’t do it!

Then in January 2017, I somehow made it through the whole day on New Years. And then January 2. and then January 3! And then it was a week! And then two!! The thing that kept me going was that I was posting regularly on a private Instagram account that a few people followed that kept me fairly accountable.
After 40 days, I was feeling amazing. My energy was up- my whole diet had shifted a lot, just from eliminating those two things, and I had lost a lot! I mean, like 13 inches off my waist. It was CRAZY.

But I fell off the bandwagon. Like, I don’t know what happened right there- I tried to shift into “I can eat SOME white flour and white sugar,” and within a week I was just back to my old eating patterns, and regained it all.

The thing is- I really do think that for whatever reason, I have an addiction to sugar and there is this huge shift in me- when I’m putting sugar/white flour into my system, it triggers something in me so that I overeat EVERYTHING. But when I’m abstaining from it, somehow my appetite for the other foods fall into order. I don’t know why that is, and I don’t think it’s true for all people. But it seems to be true for me.

Anyway, since then I’ve been back to the same old, same old- always having a nagging feeling that I’m not doing it right, but yet not having the motivation to do something about it. Several times I’ve thought: I just need to do that again! But I try, for about 6 hours, and then cave.

In the last few months, I’ve been talking to the Lord about it more and more. I knew what he had said before- and I knew, in the back of my mind, that I should probably just do that again.

But I just couldn’t stick to it! No matter how many days I would go to bed saying that I would do it in the morning, I would get up and make it to maaaaaaybe 1pm. And then I’d give in and eat something sugary.

Anyway, I’ve been really frustrated about this. I mean, I’m almost 40! Was I ever going to get over this?

Okay, and then the last few days I was reading in 1 Chronicles 13-15. You know David? King David? He’s God’s favorite king. I mean, he’s this shepherd kid who God calls out of the sheep pen, makes into a warrior, and then gives him the Kingdom. He’s really amazing.

Well, one of the first things that happens when David becomes king is this:

There is this ark, it’s a gold box that is filled with holy things- and it belongs in the holiest place. It’s a symbol to all of Israel of God’s presence. Before David is king, there is another king- and he is basically an enemy of God in a lot of ways. THAT king fails in a battle, and the ark is stolen by the actual enemies of Israel.

Then, that king dies, and the Lord calls, anoints, trains, and installs David as HIS king. He gives David the power to defeat the enemies and push them back.
And David, excitedly, throws a big party to celebrate the Lord- and to bring back the ark.

Okay, I know this is getting long, but hear me out.

David has a parade of people, singing God’s praise, saying: YES, LORD, WE LOVE YOU! WE WANT TO FOLLOW YOU!! And in this parade is a cart carrying this beautiful ark back to it’s special home.

BUT THEN. The oxen stumble, and the cart tips, and a man reaches out to steady the ark- and then this:

“And the anger of the Lord was kindled against Uzzah, and he struck him down because he put out his hand to the ark, and he died there before God.”

1 Chronicles 13: 10, ESV

And then it says that David is really angry at the Lord, and he sticks the ark in some random place for awhile.

Two chapters later, in chapter 15, David has calmed down a little, and once again- he calls a party and a parade to bring the ark home. THIS time, he calls together the priests and tells them: “prepare yourself, get all ready in this special way, because you’re going to carry the ark home on poles on your shoulders.”

You see… David, in that in between time- somehow figured out that God had a specific way that He wanted his ark to be handled.

You guys- I feel like… For a long time the Lord has been teaching me about how good He is- how ridiculously, tenderly, unreasonably good. He has been so kind, so patient with me. So good.

But I got a glimpse here- just a little glimpse- of this: God is not someone to just… ignore. Disregard.

I mean, all this time I’ve been saying: Yes, Lord, I know you directed me to fast those two things- But I can’t! I don’t know what’s wrong with me! I’m just, I don’t know! A failure! Weak! Fix me!

And this yesterday I read this, and I’m like… ouch. It’s not a suggestion, is it, when the Lord leads you??

I’m not saying I think the Lord is going to strike me dead for eating a cookie. But I AM saying that I think the reason I don’t see wholeness in this area is directly related to the fact that I’m not obeying.

So I was like – HOW can I keep myself doing it?? When I fail every time!?

And then I realized: I’m ridiculously vain. hahahaha

Outside accountability really works for me. I mean, when I kept it up back a few years ago- It was that instagram account I was running!

So I decided to write this. To make it bold and public:

You guys. I’m not supposed to be eating white flour or sugar. I know it. If I’m doing it, and you’re around, I’m disobeying what I know the Lord has told me to do. I’m confessing right now that I’ve been avoiding obeying for a long time, and It was wrong, and I’m turning from it.

I realize that I believe the Lord has a whole, healthy life for me- but it takes obedience, and I want to walk in it! I want to see the Lord’s good will for me, not only because I want to be blessed, but because I want to be a testimony that He can work good for you, too!

I don’t fully understand all of this. I feel like I’m going to get all sorts of random responses and opinions about everything from good diet practices to “no new revelation.” I’m already dreading it.

But I’m just trying to be bold and die to my own pride so that maybe I can see some victory.

So, here I go. feel free to ask me how it’s going! Please! And I would like to try to update here, maybe every week for awhile.

Okay, that’s all I have to say.

BYee!!!!

I used to wonder when the Lord would come back. I mean- what was taking so long? The early disciples thought it would happen in their lifetime, and every generation since then has probably thought the same.

But 2,000 years later, here we still are. Are we any closer to the end?

A while ago, I was praying about this, and I had a picture- a vision- that came to me that answered, at least a little, this question.

_____________________________________________________________________________

The people of the earth are like sheep grazing on a mountainside. Also on the mountain, there is a safe place- a shelter, in the fold of the Shepherd. It is enclosed by a gate, and the Shepherd himself stands in the doorway, calling.

On the horizon is a storm- a vast, black, thundering thing that is set to destroy.

And the Shepherd calls.

Any who hear His voice can come, and enter the fold, and find safety in his care. Many lift their heads at their names, but not all come.

But the Shepherd knows his sheep. He knows each one- who will come, and who will ignore him. He calls, and he watches as they come-

Two thousand years of coming.

And still the storm is coming- on the horizon now, just over the valley, and He is still calling-

Come, come, come…

And when the last sheep, the last one that will come DOES come, He closes the gate, and the storm breaks.

This is when the end will come- when the last sheep comes home.

________________________________________________________________

In John chapter ten, Jesus says:

Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. 

John 10:7-15

So where are you, today? Are you safely in the fold?

The King is coming. The earth will not last forever. Hear his voice today, and come to Him.

Hey, everyone! I am super excited to tell you that my Christmas novela, Noelle, is available on Audible as an audiobook!

If you’re looking for a sweet Christmas story to listen to this week, this might be the one for you!

Noelle is a dancer at a ballet company in New York. She has a tidy life that is right on track – she’s up for promotion and the biggest role of her life. But as she prepares for the annual production of A Christmas Carol, her mother suddenly crashes the party. 

Barb is bohemian, bossy, and has just had surgery, and that means she can’t live alone for a few weeks. Will their tiny apartment be able to hold two strong personalities? 

Escape into the world of plies, tutus, and the giant tree at Rockefeller Center. Come dance with Noelle: A Christmas Story.

It’s also available in paperback and on kindle!

Merry Christmas!